








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 93 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 236 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3018 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,856 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2225 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1811 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1806 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1014 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,517,529 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1209 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nickle | 54% | 28 |
| #2 | unarmedmrkly | 53% | 32 |
| #3 | Wrir | 49% | 47 |
| #4 | Matt EX-CoMuNiCaDo | 46% | 24 |
| #5 | MMMMMUFFFFFIN | 45% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | MMMMMUFFFFFIN | 45% | 33 |
| #6 | Andewy | 43% | 35 |
| #7 | ZooGs | 42% | 104 |
| #8 | ninjatoad | 41% | 82 |
| #9 | MannibalLecter | 33% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZooGs | 10 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Andewy | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | MannibalLecter | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | MMMMMUFFFFFIN | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | unarmedmrkly | 3 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZooGs | 300 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | ninjatoad | 298 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | Wrir | 156 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | Andewy | 126 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | MMMMMUFFFFFIN | 109 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | unarmedmrkly | +1.89 | 65 | 47 |
| #2 | Matt EX-CoMuNiCaDo | +1.83 | 66 | 49 |
| #3 | MMMMMUFFFFFIN | +1.53 | 38 | 70 |
| #4 | ninjatoad | +0.62 | 53 | 60 |
| #5 | Wrir | +0.50 | 43 | 37 |





