








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 680 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 219 matches | ||
| Premier | 203 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 175 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




93 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10257 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 48,252 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15539 | 32% |
| Smokes | 14471 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 10822 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 7420 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,325,888 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 528 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ninjatoad | 53% | 304 |
| #2 | Shaggy | 50% | 145 |
| #3 | Matt EX-CoMuNiCaDo | 49% | 227 |
| #4 | MannibalLecter | 49% | 364 |
| #5 | ting | 48% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Wrir | 47% | 320 |
| #7 | OgShu | 45% | 225 |
| #8 | Lil Tism | 42% | 104 |
| #9 | StormChaser014 | 42% | 106 |
| #10 | unarmedmrkly | 38% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shaggy | 29 | 0.0106 |
| #2 | ninjatoad | 25 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | MannibalLecter | 20 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Matt EX-CoMuNiCaDo | 17 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Wrir | 9 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ninjatoad | 1031 | 0.17 | 25 min |
| #2 | Wrir | 1016 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #3 | OgShu | 769 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #4 | MannibalLecter | 755 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #5 | Shaggy | 516 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ting | +3.94 | 74 | 67 |
| #2 | Shaggy | +1.85 | 50 | 51 |
| #3 | unarmedmrkly | +1.29 | 56 | 47 |
| #4 | ZooGs | +1.02 | 42 | 67 |
| #5 | ninjatoad | +0.68 | 54 | 64 |





