








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 730 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 42 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 187 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5351 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,372 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6997 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4451 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5612 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4312 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,639,191 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 365 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matt EX-CoMuNiCaDo | 55% | 77 |
| #2 | ZooGs | 53% | 304 |
| #3 | Shaggy | 47% | 45 |
| #4 | Wrir | 47% | 129 |
| #5 | MMMMMUFFFFFIN | 45% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Wrir | 47% | 129 |
| #5 | MMMMMUFFFFFIN | 45% | 44 |
| #6 | OgShu | 43% | 58 |
| #7 | MannibalLecter | 42% | 109 |
| #8 | Lil Tism | 41% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZooGs | 33 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Shaggy | 11 | 0.0130 |
| #3 | MannibalLecter | 9 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Wrir | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | MMMMMUFFFFFIN | 5 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZooGs | 1091 | 0.18 | 26 min |
| #2 | Wrir | 434 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | MannibalLecter | 225 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | OgShu | 212 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #5 | Shaggy | 155 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shaggy | +1.29 | 55 | 50 |
| #2 | MMMMMUFFFFFIN | +1.12 | 41 | 58 |
| #3 | ZooGs | +0.76 | 42 | 66 |
| #4 | ninjatoad | +0.73 | 56 | 62 |
| #5 | Wrir | -0.29 | 48 | 51 |





