








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2750 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,272 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3345 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3824 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2907 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2196 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $546,843 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mwahh | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | TheOgShu | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | nickle | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | unarmedmrkly | 58% | 43 |
| #5 | Wrir | 54% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Lil Tism | 45% | 33 |
| #10 | ninjatoad | 45% | 44 |
| #11 | ting | 38% | 16 |
| #12 | OgShu | 36% | 39 |
| #13 | Trevor | 33% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mwahh | 9 | 0.0231 |
| #2 | MannibalLecter | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | unarmedmrkly | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Matt EX-CoMuNiCaDo | 5 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | ninjatoad | 5 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wrir | 275 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | ninjatoad | 166 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | MannibalLecter | 157 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | OgShu | 134 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | unarmedmrkly | 99 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mwahh | +4.58 | 85 | 42 |
| #2 | ting | +3.74 | 79 | 69 |
| #3 | unarmedmrkly | +2.24 | 56 | 54 |
| #4 | MMMMMUFFFFFIN | +1.68 | 38 | 66 |
| #5 | Matt EX-CoMuNiCaDo | +0.46 | 58 | 49 |





