








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
830 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,905 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 757 | 40% |
| Smokes | 387 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 403 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 358 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $250,846 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PeePeePooPoo | 53% | 19 |
| #2 | rhyetohigh | 43% | 109 |
| #3 | roeVwavecheck | 42% | 19 |
| #4 | Ted Kaczynski | 41% | 17 |
| #5 | Chud Almighty | 40% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chud Almighty | 33 | 0.0210 |
| #2 | SWAZEEEE | 12 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | rhyetohigh | 10 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Addictus Pornly | 8 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | roeVwavecheck | 5 | 0.0130 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rhyetohigh | +3.06 | 73 | 59 |
| #2 | Addictus Pornly | +1.13 | 47 | 47 |
| #3 | Chud Almighty | +0.61 | 62 | 12 |
| #4 | roeVwavecheck | +0.48 | 46 | 64 |
| #5 | JuicinGoose.. | +0.21 | 55 | 39 |





