








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 337 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 221 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2193 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,978 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2495 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1880 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2336 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1267 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $581,457 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ✪ Alect | 54% | 167 |
| #6 | SoyTroy | 54% | 224 |
| #7 | ►Alpha† | 52% | 63 |
| #8 | OnF1re | IchLiebePelmeni | 52% | 58 |
| #9 | shine ツ -iwnl- | 47% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SoyTroy | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | ✪ Alect | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | saim1nn :v | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SoyTroy | 932 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #2 | ✪ Alect | 407 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #3 | Myrdin | 233 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | ►Alpha† | 195 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | saim1nn :v | 152 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Alect | +1.88 | 84 | 68 |
| #2 | ►Alpha† | +1.65 | 78 | 60 |
| #3 | SoyTroy | +1.64 | 68 | 71 |
| #4 | Niklas395 | +0.25 | 66 | 61 |
| #5 | saim1nn :v | -1.13 | 78 | 58 |





