








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 505 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 203 matches | ||
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3198 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,536 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2899 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3974 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2745 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2918 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $729,765 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 279 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R2F | 59% | 92 |
| #2 | death | 56% | 160 |
| #3 | Kalevii | 55% | 89 |
| #4 | Sutku | 55% | 33 |
| #5 | Rankaisija | 52% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rankaisija | 17 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Suppo | 16 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Kalevii | 9 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | MΓΆlis | 8 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | death | 3 | 0.0008 |





