








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 85 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2906 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,014 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1042 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1280 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1298 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 394 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $767,643 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 156 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jewmanji | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | absolute twust | 47% | 102 |
| #3 | bourgeur from agartha | 40% | 78 |
| #4 | ChimeraTech | 38% | 24 |
| #5 | THE HAT MAN | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | bourgeur from agartha | 40% | 78 |
| #4 | ChimeraTech | 38% | 24 |
| #5 | THE HAT MAN | 35% | 17 |
| #6 | melvin | 33% | 24 |
| #7 | Flint and STEEL | 33% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | absolute twust | 20 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | bourgeur from agartha | 17 | 0.0108 |
| #3 | melvin | 6 | 0.0117 |
| #4 | THE HAT MAN | 6 | 0.0165 |
| #5 | Flint and STEEL | 4 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | absolute twust | 378 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | Flint and STEEL | 117 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | melvin | 95 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | THE HAT MAN | 57 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | bourgeur from agartha | 48 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Name the Compound | +4.98 | 75 | 54 |
| #2 | THE HAT MAN | +4.72 | 76 | 52 |
| #3 | melvin | +2.99 | 81 | 60 |
| #4 | absolute twust | +1.45 | 52 | 70 |
| #5 | Jewmanji | +0.89 | 49 | 32 |





