










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
180 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 363 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 78 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4 | 1% |
| HE Grenades | 149 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 132 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $51,973 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jewmanji | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | Name the Compound | 38% | 24 |
| #3 | Flint and STEEL | 35% | 17 |
| #4 | absolute twust | 33% | 18 |
| #5 | bourgeur from agartha | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jewmanji | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | Name the Compound | 38% | 24 |
| #3 | Flint and STEEL | 35% | 17 |
| #4 | absolute twust | 33% | 18 |
| #5 | bourgeur from agartha | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Name the Compound | 9 | 0.0184 |
| #2 | bourgeur from agartha | 6 | 0.0154 |
| #3 | absolute twust | 6 | 0.0164 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | absolute twust | 61 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | Flint and STEEL | 37 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #3 | Name the Compound | 35 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | bourgeur from agartha | 4 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | Jewmanji | 3 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Name the Compound | +8.75 | 79 | 50 |
| #2 | absolute twust | +3.66 | 58 | 69 |
| #3 | ChimeraTech | -1.51 | 18 | 34 |
| #4 | Jewmanji | -3.84 | 50 | 27 |
| #5 | bourgeur from agartha | -5.72 | 9 | 18 |





