








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 296 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 204 matches | ||
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Wingman | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5071 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,158 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2047 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2002 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2972 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3137 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,701,084 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 496 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Theorematic | 54% | 71 |
| #2 | Zexuq | 51% | 176 |
| #3 | BxconPancakes | 50% | 28 |
| #4 | Lambdaman | 50% | 165 |
| #5 | rY1 | 49% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | rY1 | 49% | 94 |
| #6 | Sizzlez | 48% | 33 |
| #7 | doxxscast | 43% | 136 |
| #8 | Gumi | 41% | 97 |
| #9 | siczix6 | 36% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gumi | 16 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | rY1 | 10 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Zexuq | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Lambdaman | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Theorematic | 8 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lambdaman | 657 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #2 | Zexuq | 482 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #3 | doxxscast | 431 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #4 | rY1 | 309 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #5 | Gumi | 281 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sizzlez | +0.93 | 83 | 51 |
| #2 | BxconPancakes | +0.87 | 50 | 51 |
| #3 | Disappointment | +0.85 | 71 | 52 |
| #4 | rY1 | +0.62 | 66 | 60 |
| #5 | doxxscast | +0.19 | 69 | 62 |





