








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1212 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 379 matches | ||
| Wingman | 103 matches | ||
| Faceit | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 106 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9583 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,846 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7616 | 26% |
| Smokes | 7635 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7398 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6197 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,464,378 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4391 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Theorematic | 62% | 115 |
| #2 | rY1 | 55% | 151 |
| #3 | NeoNoi | 55% | 75 |
| #4 | Zexuq | 55% | 220 |
| #5 | Gumi | 53% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Gumi | 53% | 129 |
| #6 | Sizzlez | 50% | 96 |
| #7 | siczix6 | 49% | 89 |
| #8 | Lambdaman | 46% | 124 |
| #9 | Disappointment | 43% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gumi | 20 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Theorematic | 18 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | rY1 | 11 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Zexuq | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Sizzlez | 8 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sizzlez | 551 | 0.28 | 16 min |
| #2 | Zexuq | 549 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #3 | Lambdaman | 496 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #4 | rY1 | 451 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #5 | Gumi | 401 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doxxscast | +2.13 | 73 | 59 |
| #2 | Sizzlez | +1.11 | 84 | 55 |
| #3 | Disappointment | +0.84 | 67 | 53 |
| #4 | Zexuq | +0.11 | 67 | 61 |
| #5 | rY1 | +0.05 | 63 | 65 |





