








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 237 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 208 matches | ||
| Faceit | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4631 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,983 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5355 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5460 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4481 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4687 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $961,300 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 904 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | doxxscast | 46% | 124 |
| #8 | A literal baby | 46% | 68 |
| #9 | NeoNoi | 44% | 32 |
| #10 | siczix6 | 42% | 52 |
| #11 | Theorematic | 41% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gumi | 19 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Sizzlez | 11 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | doxxscast | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | A literal baby | 7 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Disappointment | 6 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gumi | 445 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | Sizzlez | 436 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #3 | doxxscast | 387 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #4 | Zexuq | 314 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | A literal baby | 236 | 0.18 | 6 min |





