








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 939 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 305 matches | ||
| Wingman | 225 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6618 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,033 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6218 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5280 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6783 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5752 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,139,135 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2664 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | siczix6 | 60% | 52 |
| #2 | doxxscast | 55% | 151 |
| #3 | Theorematic | 53% | 73 |
| #4 | Zexuq | 53% | 141 |
| #5 | Fareflight | 52% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Zexuq | 53% | 141 |
| #5 | Fareflight | 52% | 141 |
| #6 | Gumi | 52% | 82 |
| #7 | Disappointment | 49% | 94 |
| #8 | Lambdaman | 47% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Theorematic | 13 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | doxxscast | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Gumi | 10 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Disappointment | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Zexuq | 5 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doxxscast | 446 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | Zexuq | 334 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | Lambdaman | 238 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | Fareflight | 220 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Gumi | 206 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doxxscast | +2.16 | 73 | 57 |
| #2 | rY1 | +1.62 | 66 | 65 |
| #3 | Disappointment | +0.93 | 71 | 55 |
| #4 | Theorematic | +0.21 | 51 | 58 |
| #5 | Zexuq | +0.06 | 64 | 62 |





