








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2153 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 741 matches | ||
| Faceit | 348 matches | ||
| Wingman | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 214 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11068 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 54,249 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13386 | 25% |
| Smokes | 14089 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 13910 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 12864 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,285,981 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2696 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nhiels | 55% | 265 |
| #2 | Ayran Man | 53% | 195 |
| #3 | xSchons | 52% | 228 |
| #4 | 0 Fax ♿ | 52% | 124 |
| #5 | el chef | 51% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 0 Fax ♿ | 52% | 124 |
| #5 | el chef | 51% | 79 |
| #6 | ✪ Feaswake | 49% | 515 |
| #7 | fred | 42% | 71 |
| #8 | wc-ente|bonenana | 42% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Feaswake | 9 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Nhiels | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Ayran Man | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | wc-ente|bonenana | 9 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | xSchons | 7 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nhiels | 945 | 0.17 | 28 min |
| #2 | ✪ Feaswake | 651 | 0.06 | 18 min |
| #3 | xSchons | 531 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #4 | Ayran Man | 412 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #5 | el chef | 169 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xSchons | +0.72 | 77 | 65 |
| #2 | Timm | +0.71 | 60 | 73 |
| #3 | ✪ Feaswake | +0.61 | 86 | 46 |
| #4 | Nhiels | +0.37 | 54 | 74 |
| #5 | fred | -0.04 | 79 | 65 |





