








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 610 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1607 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,990 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2078 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1798 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1441 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1673 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $376,223 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Owned | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | asti | 56% | 39 |
| #3 | RealLink 🦙 | 53% | 43 |
| #4 | gib mir a bier | 53% | 86 |
| #5 | Mot1ve | 51% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | RealLink 🦙 | 53% | 43 |
| #4 | gib mir a bier | 53% | 86 |
| #5 | Mot1ve | 51% | 55 |
| #6 | tekkister | 50% | 36 |
| #7 | C3dril | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mot1ve | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | asti | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | RealLink 🦙 | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | tekkister | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | C3dril | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gib mir a bier | 231 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | RealLink 🦙 | 182 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | Mot1ve | 153 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | tekkister | 119 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | asti | 73 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C3dril | +3.40 | 78 | 68 |
| #2 | tekkister | +3.38 | 83 | 65 |
| #3 | YMI | +2.47 | 76 | 68 |
| #4 | Mot1ve | -0.09 | 74 | 67 |
| #5 | gib mir a bier | -0.28 | 68 | 75 |





