








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 263 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 159 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3337 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,534 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3743 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3409 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1549 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 2833 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $639,816 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mot1ve | 56% | 66 |
| #2 | gib mir a bier | 55% | 140 |
| #3 | YMI | 53% | 43 |
| #4 | tekkister | 50% | 88 |
| #5 | asti | 49% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | gib mir a bier | 55% | 140 |
| #3 | YMI | 53% | 43 |
| #4 | tekkister | 50% | 88 |
| #5 | asti | 49% | 55 |
| #6 | Kranu | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tekkister | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | gib mir a bier | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Mot1ve | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | YMI | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Kranu | 3 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gib mir a bier | 353 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | tekkister | 272 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | YMI | 199 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #4 | Mot1ve | 166 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | asti | 143 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tekkister | +3.79 | 89 | 57 |
| #2 | Kranu | +1.86 | 95 | 41 |
| #3 | YMI | +1.74 | 76 | 69 |
| #4 | gib mir a bier | +1.42 | 73 | 74 |
| #5 | Mot1ve | +0.43 | 72 | 67 |





