








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 670 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 272 matches | ||
| Wingman | 48 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4048 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,281 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5473 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4844 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2174 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 4790 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $956,589 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RealLink 🦙 | 56% | 66 |
| #2 | _Mett_Fresse_ | 53% | 30 |
| #3 | YMI | 51% | 55 |
| #4 | seNsy0 | 50% | 52 |
| #5 | tekkister | 50% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | YMI | 51% | 55 |
| #4 | seNsy0 | 50% | 52 |
| #5 | tekkister | 50% | 153 |
| #6 | gib mir a bier | 50% | 129 |
| #7 | asti | 49% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tekkister | 9 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | YMI | 7 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | RealLink 🦙 | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | gib mir a bier | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | seNsy0 | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tekkister | 440 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | gib mir a bier | 362 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | RealLink 🦙 | 230 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | seNsy0 | 230 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #5 | asti | 216 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tekkister | +4.20 | 89 | 55 |
| #2 | YMI | +1.95 | 72 | 67 |
| #3 | seNsy0 | +1.34 | 66 | 73 |
| #4 | Mot1ve | +1.16 | 75 | 65 |
| #5 | gib mir a bier | +0.04 | 68 | 74 |





