








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 224 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1621 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,381 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1599 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1653 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1337 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1792 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $660,501 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥DeV1n3♥ | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | YMI | 56% | 39 |
| #3 | gib mir a bier | 55% | 99 |
| #4 | tekkister | 52% | 121 |
| #5 | Mot1ve | 49% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | YMI | 56% | 39 |
| #3 | gib mir a bier | 55% | 99 |
| #4 | tekkister | 52% | 121 |
| #5 | Mot1ve | 49% | 91 |
| #6 | RealLink 🦙 | 49% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mot1ve | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | RealLink 🦙 | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | YMI | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | tekkister | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | ♥DeV1n3♥ | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tekkister | 395 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | Mot1ve | 295 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | gib mir a bier | 266 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | RealLink 🦙 | 247 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #5 | YMI | 183 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tekkister | +4.98 | 88 | 56 |
| #2 | YMI | +1.42 | 72 | 66 |
| #3 | gib mir a bier | +0.66 | 70 | 72 |
| #4 | Mot1ve | +0.41 | 73 | 63 |
| #5 | RealLink 🦙 | -0.49 | 85 | 64 |





