










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 122 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1404 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,545 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1183 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1017 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 488 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 857 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $212,752 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gk.dave.apemode | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | Ratatoullie | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | maddielou | 75% | 20 |
| #4 | s1n | 71% | 7 |
| #5 | junior | 67% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | slæxz- | 67% | 12 |
| #7 | arcade | 63% | 8 |
| #8 | LittleBEER | 60% | 5 |
| #9 | swisher | 57% | 7 |
| #10 | Zak | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arcade | 1 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slæxz- | 73 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #2 | junior | 42 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | swisher | 36 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | s1n | 36 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | maddielou | 27 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lake | +4.10 | 89 | 65 |
| #2 | slæxz- | +3.49 | 98 | 66 |
| #3 | junior | +2.98 | 94 | 66 |
| #4 | s1n | +2.82 | 88 | 87 |
| #5 | Ratatoullie | +1.90 | 91 | 61 |





