








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 592 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1699 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,623 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2323 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1837 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1031 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1432 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $228,281 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 98 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swisher | 78% | 23 |
| #2 | HexT | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | 'WaterMelonCrusher' | 76% | 49 |
| #4 | Lake | 71% | 7 |
| #5 | slæxz- | 71% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swisher | 78% | 23 |
| #2 | HexT | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | 'WaterMelonCrusher' | 76% | 49 |
| #4 | Lake | 71% | 7 |
| #5 | slæxz- | 71% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slæxz- | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | 'WaterMelonCrusher' | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | swisher | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slæxz- | 433 | 0.25 | 12 min |
| #2 | 'WaterMelonCrusher' | 380 | 0.40 | 8 min |
| #3 | swisher | 126 | 0.31 | 3 min |
| #4 | HexT | 53 | 0.33 | 2 min |
| #5 | Lake | 24 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HexT | +5.61 | 88 | 85 |
| #2 | s1n | +4.63 | 91 | 85 |
| #3 | slæxz- | +4.45 | 95 | 66 |
| #4 | swisher | +3.01 | 86 | 82 |
| #5 | Lake | -0.95 | 75 | 68 |





