










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 174 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
743 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,643 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 843 | 32% |
| Smokes | 692 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 442 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 666 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $130,968 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 'WaterMelonCrusher' | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | t | 86% | 7 |
| #3 | s1n | 78% | 23 |
| #4 | slæxz- | 74% | 31 |
| #5 | HexT | 71% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | HexT | 71% | 7 |
| #6 | madcow^ | 67% | 3 |
| #7 | Ptero | 67% | 3 |
| #8 | spawn | 67% | 3 |
| #9 | Lake | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slæxz- | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slæxz- | 160 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #2 | s1n | 112 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #3 | 'WaterMelonCrusher' | 56 | 0.65 | 2 min |
| #4 | t | 36 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | HexT | 33 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | madcow^ | +7.89 | 90 | 77 |
| #2 | swisher | +4.02 | 86 | 80 |
| #3 | s1n | +4.00 | 90 | 80 |
| #4 | slæxz- | +3.66 | 94 | 63 |
| #5 | t | +3.45 | 81 | 68 |





