








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 133 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2525 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,644 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1851 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1740 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3333 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1720 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,070,476 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | null | 61% | 44 |
| #2 | Jay | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | Ng | 51% | 268 |
| #4 | Selling Bath Water | 50% | 24 |
| #5 | HavocMarcel513 | 50% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | HavocMarcel513 | 50% | 78 |
| #6 | oscLH'-' | 46% | 249 |
| #7 | lowkeyT_T | 46% | 215 |
| #8 | Alve | 44% | 239 |
| #9 | Twaan. | 39% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oscLH'-' | 15 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Alve | 15 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Ng | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | lowkeyT_T | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | null | 5 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alve | 413 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #2 | Ng | 352 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #3 | oscLH'-' | 342 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #4 | Twaan. | 285 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | lowkeyT_T | 277 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oscLH'-' | +4.84 | 82 | 60 |
| #2 | null | +4.40 | 79 | 39 |
| #3 | Selling Bath Water | +3.51 | 78 | 58 |
| #4 | Ng | +2.01 | 69 | 53 |
| #5 | HavocMarcel513 | -0.34 | 74 | 51 |





