








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 112 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2945 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,216 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2074 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3122 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3692 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2328 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,341,359 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 209 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Selling Bath Water | 52% | 52 |
| #2 | null | 49% | 39 |
| #3 | Ng | 47% | 325 |
| #4 | Enkei556 | 46% | 215 |
| #5 | oscLH'-' | 44% | 277 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | oscLH'-' | 44% | 277 |
| #6 | Alve | 43% | 337 |
| #7 | Jay | 43% | 28 |
| #8 | HavocMarcel513 | 39% | 123 |
| #9 | Twaan. | 38% | 178 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alve | 23 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | oscLH'-' | 13 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Enkei556 | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Ng | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Selling Bath Water | 5 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alve | 540 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #2 | Ng | 413 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #3 | oscLH'-' | 391 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #4 | Twaan. | 375 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #5 | Enkei556 | 372 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oscLH'-' | +4.80 | 81 | 60 |
| #2 | Selling Bath Water | +2.76 | 74 | 60 |
| #3 | null | +2.69 | 81 | 40 |
| #4 | Ng | +1.96 | 70 | 55 |
| #5 | HavocMarcel513 | -0.54 | 70 | 49 |





