








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 42 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5346 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,064 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1936 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2646 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4320 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 3162 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,804,832 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 198 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | null | 62% | 86 |
| #2 | Enkei556 | 51% | 268 |
| #3 | oscLH'-' | 50% | 319 |
| #4 | HavocMarcel513 | 49% | 173 |
| #5 | Selling Bath Water | 49% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Selling Bath Water | 49% | 51 |
| #6 | Alve | 48% | 353 |
| #7 | lowkeyT_T | 47% | 325 |
| #8 | Twaan. | 45% | 220 |
| #9 | heccs | 43% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alve | 28 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | oscLH'-' | 15 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | lowkeyT_T | 11 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Enkei556 | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | null | 10 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alve | 547 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #2 | oscLH'-' | 448 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #3 | Enkei556 | 420 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #4 | lowkeyT_T | 403 | 0.06 | 12 min |
| #5 | Twaan. | 390 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oscLH'-' | +4.40 | 80 | 59 |
| #2 | null | +4.08 | 83 | 38 |
| #3 | Selling Bath Water | +2.75 | 73 | 56 |
| #4 | Ng | +1.81 | 70 | 54 |
| #5 | heccs | +0.24 | 67 | 59 |





