








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2193 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,091 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1121 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2228 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1666 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2076 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $530,644 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | heccs | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | null | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | Enkei556 | 50% | 78 |
| #4 | Ng | 49% | 173 |
| #5 | oscLH'-' | 48% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | oscLH'-' | 48% | 121 |
| #6 | Twaan. | 48% | 80 |
| #7 | Alve | 42% | 213 |
| #8 | lowkeyT_T | 39% | 123 |
| #9 | Selling Bath Water | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alve | 19 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | oscLH'-' | 10 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Ng | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | lowkeyT_T | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Enkei556 | 5 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alve | 318 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #2 | Ng | 230 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #3 | oscLH'-' | 192 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Enkei556 | 148 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Twaan. | 146 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | null | +3.87 | 85 | 39 |
| #2 | oscLH'-' | +3.86 | 79 | 59 |
| #3 | Selling Bath Water | +3.27 | 79 | 48 |
| #4 | Ng | +1.87 | 69 | 56 |
| #5 | HavocMarcel513 | -0.45 | 73 | 50 |





