








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 165 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2601 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,960 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2938 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3824 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3005 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2193 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $761,930 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 125 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | null | 56% | 52 |
| #2 | Selling Bath Water | 49% | 35 |
| #3 | HavocMarcel513 | 48% | 80 |
| #4 | Ng | 45% | 220 |
| #5 | oscLH'-' | 45% | 181 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Ng | 45% | 220 |
| #5 | oscLH'-' | 45% | 181 |
| #6 | Enkei556 | 39% | 145 |
| #7 | lowkeyT_T | 38% | 178 |
| #8 | Alve | 38% | 197 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alve | 12 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | oscLH'-' | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | lowkeyT_T | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | null | 6 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | Ng | 5 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alve | 294 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #2 | Ng | 262 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #3 | lowkeyT_T | 229 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | oscLH'-' | 226 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #5 | Enkei556 | 217 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | null | +4.28 | 82 | 44 |
| #2 | oscLH'-' | +4.23 | 81 | 56 |
| #3 | Selling Bath Water | +3.66 | 80 | 51 |
| #4 | Ng | +1.82 | 72 | 55 |
| #5 | HavocMarcel513 | -0.56 | 77 | 44 |





