








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 522 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 333 matches | ||
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4739 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,480 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7945 | 31% |
| Smokes | 7388 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 6176 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3971 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $506,645 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 249 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | otsch | 53% | 43 |
| #2 | Chillyson83 | 53% | 258 |
| #3 | e_ | 52% | 54 |
| #4 | Mr.Right | 52% | 93 |
| #5 | sl4sh | 51% | 170 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | far far away | 49% | 154 |
| #8 | kentman_ | 48% | 108 |
| #9 | Paint | 47% | 32 |
| #10 | ThermoPTR | 46% | 56 |
| #11 | schümi | 45% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | far far away | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | cpo | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Chillyson83 | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | sl4sh | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | e_ | 5 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cpo | 726 | 0.24 | 24 min |
| #2 | Chillyson83 | 408 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #3 | Mr.Right | 337 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #4 | schümi | 334 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #5 | sl4sh | 331 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sl4sh | +1.54 | 85 | 61 |
| #2 | cpo | +1.50 | 71 | 73 |
| #3 | otsch | +0.63 | 56 | 75 |
| #4 | Chillyson83 | +0.61 | 73 | 68 |
| #5 | Mr.Right | +0.51 | 52 | 69 |





