








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 923 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2541 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,093 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1132 | 28% |
| Smokes | 782 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1241 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 938 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,137,827 of utility $254 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 579 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sven | 56% | 45 |
| #2 | zw1tscher | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | Hoodini | 53% | 89 |
| #4 | ✪Morthley -iwnl- | 51% | 78 |
| #5 | Doug Judy | 49% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Edgarcut midtaper-fade | 44% | 73 |
| #7 | Pepe the grey | 44% | 16 |
| #8 | M1neGuys | 39% | 18 |
| #9 | Ricardo Milos | 36% | 36 |
| #10 | ppiliph | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoodini | 15 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | Ricardo Milos | 12 | 0.0165 |
| #3 | Doug Judy | 7 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Edgarcut midtaper-fade | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Pepe the grey | 3 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoodini | 216 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | ✪Morthley -iwnl- | 203 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Edgarcut midtaper-fade | 129 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Sven | 113 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Doug Judy | 109 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trump is my Bitch | +4.71 | 88 | 52 |
| #2 | Hoodini | +1.97 | 76 | 60 |
| #3 | Pepe the grey | -0.13 | 66 | 54 |
| #4 | zw1tscher | -0.34 | 73 | 70 |
| #5 | Sven | -0.78 | 62 | 45 |





