








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 812 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 242 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2114 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,173 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1828 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1514 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1834 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 997 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $903,690 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 196 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoodini | 52% | 23 |
| #2 | Trump is my Bitch | 44% | 73 |
| #3 | ✪Morthley -iwnl- | 41% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoodini | 52% | 23 |
| #2 | Trump is my Bitch | 44% | 73 |
| #3 | ✪Morthley -iwnl- | 41% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trump is my Bitch | 20 | 0.0127 |
| #2 | Hoodini | 7 | 0.0141 |
| #3 | ✪Morthley -iwnl- | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Morthley -iwnl- | 194 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | Trump is my Bitch | 119 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Hoodini | 66 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trump is my Bitch | +5.30 | 92 | 52 |
| #2 | Hoodini | +1.80 | 79 | 60 |
| #3 | Edgarcut midtaper-fade | -0.15 | 61 | 56 |
| #4 | ✪Morthley -iwnl- | -0.95 | 72 | 55 |





