








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 685 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 228 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 96 matches | ||
| Wingman | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7831 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,411 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4851 | 52% |
| Smokes | 2192 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1366 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1002 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,567,589 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 134 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trump is my Bitch | 56% | 45 |
| #2 | arroz | 55% | 154 |
| #3 | Hoodini | 55% | 223 |
| #4 | Doug Judy | 53% | 557 |
| #5 | Pepe Baggins | 53% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | M1neGuys | 49% | 299 |
| #8 | Fex | 49% | 114 |
| #9 | nightmarealic3 | 48% | 62 |
| #10 | Ricardo Milos | 44% | 71 |
| #11 | George Droyde | 38% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doug Judy | 46 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Hoodini | 20 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | George Droyde | 15 | 0.0140 |
| #4 | Ricardo Milos | 8 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Pepe the grey | 7 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doug Judy | 1217 | 0.11 | 36 min |
| #2 | Hoodini | 619 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #3 | arroz | 343 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | M1neGuys | 310 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #5 | Pepe the grey | 296 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trump is my Bitch | +4.53 | 83 | 52 |
| #2 | Hoodini | +4.35 | 79 | 59 |
| #3 | Pepe Baggins | +3.56 | 75 | 66 |
| #4 | Pepe the grey | +2.85 | 75 | 59 |
| #5 | Doug Judy | +1.59 | 58 | 61 |





