








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 284 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3084 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,564 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2832 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2948 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1753 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2031 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $781,123 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 687 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | faQ | 70% | 23 |
| #2 | NecBugH | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | ॐ | 53% | 62 |
| #4 | Chameleon | 48% | 64 |
| #5 | muhammeds5head likes DOGballs | 48% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | SSS | 40% | 62 |
| #11 | DayOne♿ | 40% | 25 |
| #12 | Rook | 40% | 43 |
| #13 | Lil Noot | 38% | 29 |
| #14 | XertixUwU | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chameleon | 7 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | n1lsen | 6 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Lil Noot | 6 | 0.0106 |
| #4 | SSS | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | DayOne♿ | 5 | 0.0095 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | muhammeds5head likes DOGballs | 284 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | Chameleon | 218 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | n1lsen | 180 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | ॐ | 119 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Rook | 116 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | muhammeds5head likes DOGballs | +3.13 | 81 | 60 |
| #2 | John69 | +2.70 | 80 | 56 |
| #3 | Chameleon | +1.56 | 88 | 68 |
| #4 | ॐ | +1.03 | 88 | 48 |
| #5 | DayOne♿ | +0.54 | 83 | 62 |





