








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Faceit | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2782 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,394 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3361 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2431 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1218 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 2384 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $771,561 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 278 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tinkeri | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | Doc McStubbins™ | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | eros | 62% | 55 |
| #4 | Meepy | 62% | 34 |
| #5 | ahu1d6y | 59% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | :) | 50% | 18 |
| #13 | Rook | 48% | 79 |
| #14 | 1eo | 43% | 51 |
| #15 | ॐ | 43% | 58 |
| #16 | muhammeds5head likes DOGballs | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rook | 13 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | ॐ | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | 1eo | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | DayOne♿ | 5 | 0.0105 |
| #5 | XertixUwU | 4 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eros | 323 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| #2 | Rook | 225 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | ahu1d6y | 209 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | 1eo | 205 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | Meepy | 168 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chameleon | +1.96 | 91 | 64 |
| #2 | eros | +1.71 | 68 | 66 |
| #3 | DayOne♿ | +1.54 | 74 | 52 |
| #4 | ॐ | +1.01 | 90 | 54 |
| #5 | n1lsen | +0.53 | 73 | 63 |





