








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 426 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 164 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1567 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,293 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 910 | 28% |
| Smokes | 768 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1232 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 383 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $494,308 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jacobalcant | 52% | 64 |
| #2 | Fat Ectomorph | 51% | 59 |
| #3 | Tio | 47% | 88 |
| #4 | iTzAbe | 44% | 131 |
| #5 | ChrisK (new mouse) | 44% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | XxFaZexX | 41% | 78 |
| #9 | ROPEMAXX | 38% | 13 |
| #10 | shibal sekki | 33% | 21 |
| #11 | Jaeger | 29% | 14 |
| #12 | auodon | 22% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Azir Thomas | 16 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | ChrisK (new mouse) | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | iTzAbe | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Tio | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | auodon | 3 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iTzAbe | 596 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #2 | ChrisK (new mouse) | 388 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #3 | Azir Thomas | 346 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | Tio | 228 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | jacobalcant | 220 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaeger | +3.18 | 81 | 52 |
| #2 | ChrisK (new mouse) | +3.11 | 35 | 77 |
| #3 | Monkey D. Luffy | +1.01 | 51 | 37 |
| #4 | ROPEMAXX | +0.86 | 66 | 60 |
| #5 | Fat Ectomorph | -0.44 | 58 | 45 |





