








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 191 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1691 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,515 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2974 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1862 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1741 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 938 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $529,416 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 316 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jacobalcant | 59% | 59 |
| #2 | Fat Ectomorph | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | iTzAbe | 48% | 118 |
| #4 | XxFaZexX | 48% | 96 |
| #5 | Tio | 47% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | XxFaZexX | 48% | 96 |
| #5 | Tio | 47% | 95 |
| #6 | Azir Thomas | 46% | 151 |
| #7 | Monkey D. Luffy | 44% | 84 |
| #8 | shibal sekki | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Azir Thomas | 19 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Monkey D. Luffy | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | iTzAbe | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Tio | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | jacobalcant | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iTzAbe | 612 | 0.25 | 12 min |
| #2 | Azir Thomas | 308 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | Tio | 243 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | Monkey D. Luffy | 196 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | jacobalcant | 183 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChrisK (new mouse) | +3.62 | 33 | 76 |
| #2 | shibal sekki | +0.89 | 50 | 64 |
| #3 | Monkey D. Luffy | -0.09 | 40 | 36 |
| #4 | jacobalcant | -0.11 | 45 | 60 |
| #5 | Tio | -0.80 | 23 | 49 |





