








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 639 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 262 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 81 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4376 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,139 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3145 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2978 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2474 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1542 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,493,812 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 657 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Hypr | 54% | 135 |
| #2 | fader abel | 54% | 28 |
| #3 | Thinkable | 50% | 123 |
| #4 | Professor [w]oof | 50% | 48 |
| #5 | evitalet11 | 49% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Thinkable | 50% | 123 |
| #4 | Professor [w]oof | 50% | 48 |
| #5 | evitalet11 | 49% | 59 |
| #6 | Grxgan | 47% | 108 |
| #7 | Mr. Waitress | 46% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Waitress | 33 | 0.0154 |
| #2 | Thinkable | 13 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Grxgan | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Professor [w]oof | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | fader abel | 3 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Hypr | 607 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| #2 | Grxgan | 295 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | Thinkable | 222 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | Mr. Waitress | 148 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Professor [w]oof | 92 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Hypr | +6.18 | 90 | 66 |
| #2 | baby boss | +1.05 | 63 | 58 |
| #3 | Mr. Waitress | +0.19 | 68 | 45 |
| #4 | Thinkable | -0.90 | 45 | 61 |
| #5 | evitalet11 | -1.11 | 74 | 35 |





