








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2694 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,143 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2012 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1452 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 363 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 1316 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $324,099 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | evitalet11 | 54% | 46 |
| #2 | baby boss | 54% | 135 |
| #3 | Grxgan | 53% | 110 |
| #4 | Professor [w]oof | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | evitalet11 | 54% | 46 |
| #2 | baby boss | 54% | 135 |
| #3 | Grxgan | 53% | 110 |
| #4 | Professor [w]oof | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baby boss | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Grxgan | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Professor [w]oof | 3 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grxgan | 301 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | baby boss | 250 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Professor [w]oof | 70 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | evitalet11 | 18 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Hypr | +5.73 | 89 | 65 |
| #2 | baby boss | -0.83 | 61 | 54 |
| #3 | evitalet11 | -1.65 | 73 | 39 |
| #4 | Professor [w]oof | -2.06 | 55 | 55 |
| #5 | Grxgan | -3.24 | 45 | 56 |





