








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 493 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 50 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1473 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,005 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1106 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1644 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2063 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1192 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $644,086 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baby boss | 50% | 123 |
| #2 | Mr. Waitress | 50% | 115 |
| #3 | Downie El matador | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | fader abel | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baby boss | 50% | 123 |
| #2 | Mr. Waitress | 50% | 115 |
| #3 | Downie El matador | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | fader abel | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Waitress | 30 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | baby boss | 12 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Downie El matador | 5 | 0.0199 |
| #4 | fader abel | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baby boss | 327 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | Mr. Waitress | 171 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Downie El matador | 32 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | fader abel | 29 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Downie El matador | +3.78 | 80 | 35 |
| #2 | baby boss | +1.35 | 64 | 63 |
| #3 | Mr. Waitress | +0.04 | 67 | 48 |
| #4 | Thinkable | -0.93 | 48 | 59 |
| #5 | fader abel | -1.46 | 64 | 29 |





