








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
839 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,726 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1181 | 32% |
| Smokes | 822 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 928 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 795 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $281,126 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Hypr | 53% | 110 |
| #2 | Professor [w]oof | 48% | 31 |
| #3 | baby boss | 47% | 108 |
| #4 | evitalet11 | 45% | 47 |
| #5 | Ronald Hutton | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Hypr | 53% | 110 |
| #2 | Professor [w]oof | 48% | 31 |
| #3 | baby boss | 47% | 108 |
| #4 | evitalet11 | 45% | 47 |
| #5 | Ronald Hutton | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baby boss | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Professor [w]oof | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | -Hypr | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | Ronald Hutton | 1 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Hypr | 526 | 0.23 | 17 min |
| #2 | baby boss | 194 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | Professor [w]oof | 71 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Ronald Hutton | 34 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | evitalet11 | 11 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Hypr | +6.31 | 88 | 68 |
| #2 | Ronald Hutton | +6.20 | 91 | 50 |
| #3 | baby boss | -0.86 | 64 | 53 |
| #4 | evitalet11 | -1.87 | 74 | 35 |
| #5 | Professor [w]oof | -2.43 | 59 | 55 |





