








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 308 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2302 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,667 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4023 | 42% |
| Smokes | 2795 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 858 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 1991 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $955,651 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 607 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5H0T5 | 41% | 59 |
| #2 | EndorsedFour | 39% | 122 |
| #3 | Kelly | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5H0T5 | 41% | 59 |
| #2 | EndorsedFour | 39% | 122 |
| #3 | Kelly | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5H0T5 | 14 | 0.0120 |
| #2 | EndorsedFour | 7 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EndorsedFour | 405 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | 5H0T5 | 117 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5H0T5 | +3.64 | 67 | 67 |
| #2 | Kelly | +3.34 | 82 | 26 |
| #3 | EndorsedFour | -0.39 | 38 | 43 |
| #4 | Grimace TheBabyMuncher | -3.87 | 39 | 55 |





