








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 377 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2060 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,016 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2346 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2045 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 974 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1651 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $677,011 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 160 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5H0T5 | 48% | 58 |
| #2 | L1LM0NEY | 40% | 15 |
| #3 | Grimace TheBabyMuncher | 39% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5H0T5 | 48% | 58 |
| #2 | L1LM0NEY | 40% | 15 |
| #3 | Grimace TheBabyMuncher | 39% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5H0T5 | 20 | 0.0170 |
| #2 | Grimace TheBabyMuncher | 12 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grimace TheBabyMuncher | 493 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #2 | 5H0T5 | 127 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | L1LM0NEY | 11 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5H0T5 | +3.67 | 70 | 70 |
| #2 | L1LM0NEY | +1.56 | 67 | 39 |
| #3 | EndorsedFour | -0.84 | 36 | 48 |
| #4 | Grimace TheBabyMuncher | -4.17 | 35 | 54 |





