








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 733 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 246 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 245 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4991 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,868 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5746 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2546 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 3204 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4372 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,151,149 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kimer0s | 78% | 233 |
| #2 | rotincol | 78% | 108 |
| #3 | goku ssj 100 | 74% | 179 |
| #4 | zazasan | 72% | 332 |
| #5 | Superex | 72% | 602 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Superex | 59 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | fara | 32 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | kimer0s | 27 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | goku ssj 100 | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | zazasan | 7 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zazasan | 2042 | 0.35 | 59 min |
| #2 | Superex | 1547 | 0.14 | 43 min |
| #3 | kimer0s | 896 | 0.22 | 24 min |
| #4 | fara | 690 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #5 | goku ssj 100 | 652 | 0.19 | 17 min |





