








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2742 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 553 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 477 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




107 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
18102 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,908 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13117 | 32% |
| Smokes | 9233 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 9644 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 8914 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,777,328 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1870 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zazasan | 3440 | 0.38 | 97 min |
| #2 | Superex | 1874 | 0.13 | 55 min |
| #3 | ceel- | 1186 | 0.20 | 26 min |
| #4 | goku ssj 100 | 888 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #5 | fara | 594 | 0.17 | 19 min |





