








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 271 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 380 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3700 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,796 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6191 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3052 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 5186 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4367 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $376,526 of utility $41 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 564 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | prakM | 70% | 27 |
| #2 | 5th dan blackbelt driller | 65% | 37 |
| #3 | genesis | 64% | 55 |
| #4 | mmr philantrophist | 62% | 132 |
| #5 | jourdain | 56% | 253 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | genesis | 64% | 55 |
| #4 | mmr philantrophist | 62% | 132 |
| #5 | jourdain | 56% | 253 |
| #6 | mv zquence ¬-¬ * adonix | 41% | 29 |
| #7 | m.salah | 38% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mmr philantrophist | 11 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | jourdain | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | prakM | 5 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | genesis | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | 5th dan blackbelt driller | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jourdain | 1302 | 0.24 | 35 min |
| #2 | mmr philantrophist | 638 | 0.23 | 17 min |
| #3 | genesis | 152 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | mv zquence ¬-¬ * adonix | 139 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | m.salah | 135 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | prakM | +2.57 | 83 | 57 |
| #2 | mmr philantrophist | +2.06 | 72 | 72 |
| #3 | genesis | +2.02 | 93 | 57 |
| #4 | 5th dan blackbelt driller | +1.07 | 89 | 55 |
| #5 | jourdain | +1.06 | 80 | 76 |





