








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1980 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 784 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12824 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,014 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5402 | 21% |
| Smokes | 6140 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 8564 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 5908 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,570,553 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2035 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TMV obntsRo ¬-¬ *adonix | 79% | 53 |
| #2 | snort rack get wack | 74% | 57 |
| #3 | LeeAm | 74% | 91 |
| #4 | prakM | 72% | 60 |
| #5 | KHABIB | 71% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | mmr philantrophist | 65% | 185 |
| #10 | aren | 65% | 151 |
| #11 | whp ' defiant | 60% | 173 |
| #12 | This Guy☮™ | 56% | 57 |
| #13 | Tommy Egan | 56% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jourdain | 11 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | genesis | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | real1Tyroneous | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | prakM | 9 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | mmr philantrophist | 6 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jourdain | 1385 | 0.23 | 35 min |
| #2 | mmr philantrophist | 818 | 0.21 | 20 min |
| #3 | whp ' defiant | 683 | 0.19 | 19 min |
| #4 | real1Tyroneous | 505 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #5 | aren | 418 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | prakM | +3.65 | 81 | 62 |
| #2 | TMV obntsRo ¬-¬ *adonix | +3.54 | 91 | 66 |
| #3 | 5th dan blackbelt driller | +2.80 | 85 | 60 |
| #4 | genesis | +2.17 | 95 | 59 |
| #5 | real1Tyroneous | +2.17 | 88 | 64 |





