








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 16 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
302 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,157 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 240 | 21% |
| Smokes | 351 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 283 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 283 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $78,883 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slimey | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | If you kill me u are gay | 1 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | If you kill me u are gay | 39 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #2 | N!GHTvisiøn | 21 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #3 | Slimey | 20 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | LePuss | 19 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Rudolf | 11 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Portokola | +3.74 | 73 | 67 |
| #2 | VAS | +1.64 | 88 | 53 |
| #3 | LePuss | -0.12 | 49 | 58 |
| #4 | If you kill me u are gay | -0.80 | 46 | 58 |
| #5 | Rudolf | -1.66 | 36 | 64 |





