








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 232 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 382 matches | ||
| Faceit | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5223 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,598 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4790 | 19% |
| Smokes | 7524 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 7319 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5965 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,959,951 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 159 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Baumi | 47% | 66 |
| #12 | Bratwurstzorro | 43% | 98 |
| #13 | raymbo ツ | 43% | 54 |
| #14 | Rudolf | 40% | 89 |
| #15 | Rody | 31% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☣ProFFesoR☣ | +4.86 | 91 | 66 |
| #2 | Krati | +3.33 | 76 | 64 |
| #3 | tempLando | +2.82 | 72 | 64 |
| #4 | Phillybeef | +1.96 | 79 | 77 |
| #5 | Slimey | +1.68 | 61 | 62 |





