








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 189 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 167 matches | ||
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3479 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,045 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3767 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3421 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1073 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 1784 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,110,773 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Iljaech | 50% | 123 |
| #9 | Kicki | 49% | 186 |
| #10 | GrizzeZ | 49% | 53 |
| #11 | Kolumbus | 48% | 113 |
| #12 | 𝓟𝖆𝖙𝖙𝖆¢𝖍𝖎𝖓𝓸ツ | 47% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Iljaech | 12 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | GrizzeZ | 8 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | Kicki | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | ✪MIKEY yAKson | 7 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | 𝓟𝖆𝖙𝖙𝖆¢𝖍𝖎𝖓𝓸ツ | 5 | 0.0049 |





