








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 774 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 472 matches | ||
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 56 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7908 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,336 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3389 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4129 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5044 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2774 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,714,581 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1282 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Per | 64% | 44 |
| #2 | Knag | 57% | 298 |
| #3 | Edmund | 55% | 80 |
| #4 | promp | 52% | 306 |
| #5 | ChrisMekker | 51% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | promp | 52% | 306 |
| #5 | ChrisMekker | 51% | 142 |
| #6 | jarle | 48% | 46 |
| #7 | Sween | 47% | 68 |
| #8 | 〄Thick Bot〄 | 43% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | promp | 15 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Edmund | 13 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | 〄Thick Bot〄 | 12 | 0.0087 |
| #4 | Knag | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Sween | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChrisMekker | 665 | 0.23 | 17 min |
| #2 | Knag | 568 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #3 | promp | 501 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #4 | Sween | 314 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #5 | 〄Thick Bot〄 | 200 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Edmund | +2.12 | 79 | 39 |
| #2 | promp | +1.60 | 64 | 60 |
| #3 | Evn^S | +0.58 | 76 | 47 |
| #4 | jarle | +0.27 | 62 | 68 |
| #5 | ChrisMekker | +0.09 | 61 | 70 |





