








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 241 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3399 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,939 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2474 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2534 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2734 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3197 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,041,983 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 215 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ToBrO | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | ...they Call me dEvil | 53% | 43 |
| #3 | Monty | 51% | 47 |
| #4 | R4G3Z | 50% | 135 |
| #5 | ToBrO | 49% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R4G3Z | 37 | 0.0131 |
| #2 | chrise2002 | 27 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | ⚡Dr.Nobby⚡ | 19 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | naturaL. | 14 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | Only_a_Shadow | 8 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚡Dr.Nobby⚡ | 318 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #2 | R4G3Z | 275 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | naturaL. | 215 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | ToBrO | 210 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Only_a_Shadow | 157 | 0.11 | 4 min |





