








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 240 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 421 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4600 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,747 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4849 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5567 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5381 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4950 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,411,519 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ...they Call me dEvil | 59% | 73 |
| #2 | naturaL. | 56% | 148 |
| #3 | emBu #UnLuCkY | 49% | 98 |
| #4 | chrise2002 | 49% | 119 |
| #5 | R4G3Z | 45% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | emBu #UnLuCkY | 49% | 98 |
| #4 | chrise2002 | 49% | 119 |
| #5 | R4G3Z | 45% | 44 |
| #6 | Only_a_Shadow | 45% | 31 |
| #7 | ⚡Dr.Nobby⚡ | 41% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naturaL. | 17 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | chrise2002 | 10 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | R4G3Z | 10 | 0.0107 |
| #4 | ⚡Dr.Nobby⚡ | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | emBu #UnLuCkY | 6 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naturaL. | 318 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | ⚡Dr.Nobby⚡ | 201 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | ...they Call me dEvil | 136 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | emBu #UnLuCkY | 116 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | R4G3Z | 75 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R4G3Z | +2.75 | 81 | 64 |
| #2 | naturaL. | +1.41 | 66 | 70 |
| #3 | ...they Call me dEvil | +0.92 | 68 | 67 |
| #4 | ToBrO | +0.82 | 74 | 68 |
| #5 | emBu #UnLuCkY | +0.65 | 76 | 66 |





